You’re more than who you had to be.
Online Anxiety, Trauma, & Couples Therapy Statewide in California
For people who learned to adapt to survive within family and culture & are quietly wondering who they are underneath it all.
Unlearn the patterns you built to belong.
Cool Girl Therapy
Trauma-informed · Culturally Sensitive · BIPOC & LGBTQIA+ Affirming · Identity Affirming
You're Functioning...
But Something
Feels Off.
In friendshipsYou shape yourself to belong without even noticing.
In datingYou become whoever you think they want you to be.
In familyYou learned early which parts of you were welcome and which to keep quiet.
You’ve learned how to adjust in friendships, dating, and family spaces where certain roles just made sense.
Adapting became second nature — shaped by the environments and expectations that raised you. And now you're wondering what it would feel like to just be you.
Sound familiar?
You pause before saying what you really think.
You shrink yourself so you don’t take up too much space.
You decide your feelings are the problem.
Easy to date. Easy to be around. Easy to love.
The “Cool Girl” is the version of you who learned that belonging meant being easy.
You didn't choose this. You learned it. Because it worked. Shaping yourself just enough to keep connection.
I call this work Cool Girl Therapy because so many people realize they've been performing to belong and don't know how to stop.
The goal isn't to shame the role you learned to play. It's to understand why you needed it.
Roxanna McCabe, AMFT #131548
Registered Associate
Marriage and Family Therapist
I know what it’s like to carry things that were never yours to hold.
I've done my own work. The kind that helped me figure out who I actually am underneath all of it: what I want to keep and what I'm allowed to let go.
I grew up in a multicultural home, feeling the quiet pressure of not being "enough" in one world or another.
In many immigrant and collectivist families, survival comes first.
Emotions are minimized.
Roles get assigned.
Someone becomes the strong one.
Someone keeps the peace.
And during that experience, it can be hard to tell what's yours and what's inherited. The guilt, the responsibility, the tension between honoring your roots and wanting a life that feels like your own — that's a lot to carry.
In our work, we slow down and get curious.
Helping you come home to a version of yourself that feels steady, trusting, and entirely yours.
Individual Therapy
For adults navigating identity, cultural expectations, relationship patterns, and the cost of over-adapting.
Couples Therapy
For partners ready to understand conflict, explore cultural and relational differences, and shift patterns that keep them stuck.
Teen Therapy (14-18)
Support for teens navigating social anxiety, fear of growing up, and the pressure to change who they are to belong.
All services are offered virtually across California
first step
is the
hardest part.
when you reach out.
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